Thursday, January 06, 2011

WAHM another lie to mislead us women.

Here I am a Mom to 4. A Mom who also enjoys working. I am a designer. Ever since I was a littel girl I loved to draw. I used to want to be a billboard painter when I grew up. I pursued my art degree at a four year college. I landed a job right out of school and soaked up the expereince like a sponge. I also wanted a family. Met a fabulous guy who wanted the same things as I. We did it all the way you are supposed to. Got engaged, got married, moved to a more economical city, so one of us could stay home when we started our family. Bought a house, adopted a dog, and got pregnant. I worked for the better part of my oldest's baby and toddler years while my husband stayed home. You see I had a great paying job that I loved. We had our second son and for another year, I pushed through the guilt of leaving my babies. When our second turned one work changed a bit and the love was fading fast. My husband was offered fulltime. So we switched it around, my husband worked fulltime while I would freelance. I remember a colleague, also a woman, not married and had no children said to me when I quit, "I have a friend like you who thinks she can do it all also". That still burns 7 years later. you see I thought of course I can do it all, I will just work from home. And I tried, I would plan to stay up all night, and one of the boys would get sick, and want me. Or I would stay up all night and one of the boys would get sick and not be able to go to school, or the sitters (my parents and a neighbor). I worked freelance for a women who took risks and failed. On my own it was hard to have a meeting with a client. Folks would ask me if I took a phone call while in the car if I was in car pool? I never wanted to invite a client to the house because, who has time to clean for a client, let alone be a mom and a wife and work at home. So for the past 6 years, and two children more, I dabbled. I took classes, took on a client here and there. I did work for friends and family. Tried to launch a digital scrapbooking business, launched websites, designed logos, custom cards, anything graphic that I could sell on I just could not let it go. From this I fell into another love, Social media marketing, and it is going great. So great that I am forced to entertain childcare and it's expense to give my business and my clients the time it deserves. How do I justify the expense? Will I make enough to cover the cost of putting my 2 year old in fulltime daycare? And will I survive the self loathing. I am so ready to go back to work. The opportunity presented to me is something I can't postpone. I am excited to grow my business and possibly pull a paycheck! The risk is going to be worth it. I apologize in advance to my kids, I did really try to do it all. What happened is I did do it all, but none of it really very well. A WAHM - well there just is no such thing. You either are a working mom or a stay at home mom. I will succumb and I will work at home while my children are somewhere else.

sue daisy